You feel like you’re on a sinking ship, and everything that can go wrong is going wrong and things don’t seem to be getting better, they’re getting worse no matter how much you’re showing up, how much you’re praying, and you’re like, “Man, I need a break. I need no more life cards handed to me for just a moment.
It’s a special episode this week. I was in the middle of a coaching call with one of our STRONG members, Kenneth Burnett, and I had to pause and make sure to record it and share it with you. The world needs to hear these lessons.
TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE
I said to myself it’s so easy sometimes to think to ourselves that we’re in this space that no one else is in, and the truth is that I know for sure that each and every one of us is always on the same page in more ways than we know. Now life is going to hand us life cards and we absolutely have to respond to it, like that’s a fact, right? We can’t ignore these life cards.
So here’s what’s real. We have resources and people around us who either want to help, can help, care to help, but yet we don’t do it. We have resources around us. We allow our fears and insecurity to sit in the center of it, and then we really don’t actually… We don’t get what we need. Do you know how many times I allowed this same concept to hold me back?
LETTING INSECURITIES HOLD YOU BACK FROM ASKING THE QUESTIONS
You can’t let fear stop you from asking the right questions. You can’t let your insecurities let you believe that you are inferior to others in the same room as you.
BE WILLING TO ASK FOR HELP, BE VULNERABLE, AND BE HONEST
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Sometimes, the only way to get STRONGER is by being willing to ask for help. You also have to be willing to be vulnerable when asking for help. I can’t just need help and then not be vulnerable and expect to get the help I need. I realized how dangerous it was for me to always have to be strong and how dangerous it was for me to pretend that I had all the answers because I never allowed for room for the answers to actually come.
Vulnerability is our strength. Vulnerability is at the core of being stronger, and with as many times as I’ve been hurt, I still stand today, and saying being vulnerable is the most valuable thing that I could have ever have made a decision to do. It is our greatest asset that we have because if I’m not truthful, then there is no room for the person to come and help me. There is no room. Because I have to also say, I actually don’t know what to do. “I need help” is totally different then me making it clear that I don’t know what to do. Being honest with the world is a game of being honest with ourselves.
OWNING YOUR STORY
Getting stronger is owning your story. Owning your story is your own ability to be the most powerful version of yourself, not just the greatest version. And for people out there who say “Tiffany, it’s not a fight.” Like hell, it’s not a fight. It’s always a fight. You have to fight for your happiness. You have to fight. Hell, we’re still fighting hundreds of years later for me to be equal, to be black in the United States of America. I have to fight for it, I have to demand it. I have to be clear that I am valuable, and I know my value, I don’t need you to define my value. I have to be clear on facts like it is okay for me to be vulnerable.
Who is in your circle? What is around you? There was a time seven years ago where I didn’t have it. Eight years ago, I definitely did not have it, and I was like I’m actually for real, I’m alone. Like I got people who care about me and they say they care about me but if I was in trouble, they could not help me. They wouldn’t know what to do, they wouldn’t know how to do it. It’s like I wanted to have friends, like one of the biggest mistakes that I had was trying to build a circle of people who were friends to be vulnerable with who didn’t also own a business or they weren’t fighting for their dreams.
If I’m fighting for my dreams, you’re not fighting for your dreams, we really actually have nothing in common. We’re just holding on to the past, we’re holding on to insecurities of what happens when there’s room, but if you live a life where you’re happy in your nine to five making $27,000 a year but you’re complaining about not being able to travel, not being able to buy the said car and whatever else it is but you don’t see the incongruency and you’re like “Oh, I’m not doing that, that’s too much work,” yeah, we have nothing in common. Period.